The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen breaks a 40-yard run and is tackled at the 1. The backup scores. Of course he does.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen rushes 22 times for 51 yards. A heroic, beautiful, useless day.
- Allen runs for 98 yards, one short of the bonus, then goes down on the kneel-down. Scorched.
87%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Allen's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.