The Shank Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Aubrey trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
- Aubrey sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
79%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
Incantation
Aubrey, Aubrey, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.