The Chip-and-Release Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Bates lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
81%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Eye of Commanders, tongue of ref,
Bring Jaguars down to grief,
Bates scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.