The Late Scratch Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Kentucky's biggest rival.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bates will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
86%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Jets locker room
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.