The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Bates gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
92%POTENCY
-9.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bates drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.