The Chip-and-Release Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Bates's stadium. Only over Bates.
90%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Dolphins locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bates's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.