The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Chargers fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Texans locker room
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
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- Tyler Warren
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- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.