The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
91%POTENCY
-15.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Bates, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.