The Phantom Flag Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
90%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.