The Late Scratch Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Kentucky's biggest rival.
- Bates is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
92%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Eye of Jaguars, tongue of ref,
Bring Jaguars down to grief,
Bates scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.