The Snap Count Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Bates's stadium. Only over Bates.
80%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Eye of Texans, tongue of ref,
Bring Jaguars down to grief,
Bates scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.