The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Bronson Kaufusi
Bronson Kaufusi · GB · TE
“Kaufusi is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Kaufusi's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Kaufusi's stadium. Only over Kaufusi.
- Kaufusi gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
92%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cowboys locker room
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kaufusi's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Jacobs
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Christian Watson
- Tucker Kraft
- Jordan Love
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Bronson Kaufusi in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Bronson Kaufusi is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Bronson Kaufusi actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.