The Shank Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
79%POTENCY
-10.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A used challenge flag
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Santos's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.