The Wide Left Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Santos is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
89%POTENCY
-11.2PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Santos, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.