The Wide Left Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Santos gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
83%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Chargers locker room
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Santos's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.