The Mystery Tweak Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Santos is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Santos trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
84%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single tear from a Buccaneers fan
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Steelers locker room
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Santos drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.