The Doink Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Santos is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
75%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- A single Chargers jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Santos's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.