The Wide Left Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Santos will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
90%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Browns locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Santos's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.