The Late Scratch Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
80%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Santos drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.