The Shank Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Santos tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
81%POTENCY
-19.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Santos, Santos, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.