The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Santos's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
73%POTENCY
-13.9PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Santos's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.