The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears defense
“The Bears defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Chicago Bears defense's week
- The Bears defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Bears defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
86%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bears's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Cairo Santos
- Miller Moss
- Zavion Thomas
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Chicago Bears defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chicago Bears defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chicago Bears defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.