The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Christian McCaffrey
Christian McCaffrey · SF · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over McCaffrey's stadium. Only over McCaffrey.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins McCaffrey's week
- McCaffrey gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
- McCaffrey gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
92%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
McCaffrey, McCaffrey, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
- Josh Jacobs
FAQ
How do I curse Christian McCaffrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Christian McCaffrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Christian McCaffrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.