The Toe-Out-of-Bounds Hex of Christian McCaffrey
Christian McCaffrey · SF · RB
“McCaffrey loses 11 yards on a toss sweep. The most creative loss of the season.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins McCaffrey's week
- McCaffrey finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- McCaffrey is "listed as the lead back" and then watches a 3-man committee eat his lunch.
79%POTENCY
-17.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
McCaffrey drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
- Josh Jacobs
FAQ
How do I curse Christian McCaffrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Christian McCaffrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Christian McCaffrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.