The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Parkinson catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.
76%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Parkinson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.