The Mystery Tweak Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
- Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
83%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Parkinson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.