The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
- Parkinson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
77%POTENCY
-13.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Parkinson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.