The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Parkinson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
73%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Parkinson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.