The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
85%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Colts locker room
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Eye of Chiefs, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Parkinson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.