The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Parkinson is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
76%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Bengals jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Parkinson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.