The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Parkinson's stadium. Only over Parkinson.
- Parkinson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
78%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.