The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is already "Questionable" with that ribs. The witch only has to push gently.
- Parkinson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
85%POTENCY
-17.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Parkinson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.