The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Parkinson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
80%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A used challenge flag
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Parkinson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.