The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Parkinson gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
78%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Parkinson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.