The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Parkinson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
89%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Parkinson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.