The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is already "Questionable" with that ribs. The witch only has to push gently.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
78%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Parkinson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.