The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Parkinson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
90%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single Jaguars jersey, ironically worn
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.