The Blocking Assignment Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Parkinson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
87%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Parkinson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.