The Mystery Tweak Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
- Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
72%POTENCY
-13.7PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Parkinson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.