The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Ref: "Number Parkinson, that's a flag." Parkinson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
88%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a 49ers fan
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Parkinson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.