The Phantom Flag Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
77%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.