The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
- Parkinson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
84%POTENCY
-13.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Parkinson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.