The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Parkinson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
87%POTENCY
-15.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Parkinson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.