The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Parkinson's stadium. Only over Parkinson.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Parkinson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
81%POTENCY
-16.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Parkinson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.