The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Parkinson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Parkinson's stadium. Only over Parkinson.
83%POTENCY
-10.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Eye of Packers, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Parkinson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.