The Phantom Flag Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Ref: "Number Parkinson, that's a flag." Parkinson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
85%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Parkinson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.