The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
87%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A single tear from a Commanders fan
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Parkinson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.