The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
- Parkinson is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
78%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.