The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Detroit Lions
Detroit Lions defense
“The Lions defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Detroit Lions defense's week
- The Lions defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
- The Lions defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
88%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Rams locker room
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Lions drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Jake Bates
- Isaac TeSlaa
- DeAndre Carter
- Miles Kitselman
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Detroit Lions defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Detroit Lions defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Detroit Lions defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.