The Garbage-Time Hex of Detroit Lions
Detroit Lions defense
“The Lions will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Detroit Lions defense's week
- The Lions defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Lions defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
73%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Lions drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Jake Bates
- Isaac TeSlaa
- DeAndre Carter
- Miles Kitselman
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Detroit Lions defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Detroit Lions defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Detroit Lions defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.